Time plus trials equal trust. T+T=T. I would love to take credit for saying this formula, unfortunately, I heard this line from Joel Osteen. It made sense. And I wanted to share this concept with the readers of this newsletter.
Think about it. How is trust established? With some people (and I am leaning more on the younger generations), they trust very quickly. Then later, they are betrayed by this untested trust. They meet co-workers or students or the members of the opposite sex and instantly trust them. Maybe, it is because the person said something profound, accomplished a difficult feat or just had a demeanor to be trusted. So they trusted them. Sometimes it works out, but oftentimes it does not. Why? Little time was invested in the relationship, and it was not proven through tests, trials or troubles.
Then you have the older generation or those who are very firm in who they allow in their inner circle. Without thinking about the equation, they embrace the “let’s just sit back and wait attitude” before trusting a person, they hardly know. Time has passed and it appears a thin line of trust can be given, but the rest of the equation must come into play. The last component of the equation is when times become rough, when unexpected situations occur or tragedy hits, where is this untested, unproven person? How do they react? Do they offer support? Do they run? Do they avoid you? Do they think of themselves? Do they offer little comfort? Do they offer vain words or voice the common statement, if there is anything I can do? If you are truly close to a person there is always something that can be done. Or, do they go out of their way to help? Do they perform the things you did not expect? Or, surprise you with their words and support? Take a minute and think about this.
When should the T+T=T equation come strong in effect?
* Meeting new coworkers, students or neighbors. Everyone who smiles and says kind words cannot be trusted.
* Meeting a potential husband, wife, girlfriend or boyfriend. So often two people meet, plunge into a sexual encounter and think lust is love, and complementary works are deemed as trust. Remember, words can be spoken easily, but actions speak louder than words.
* Expressed business encounters or deals. The excitement of having your own business can get in the way of truly trusting the person who is proposing the deals.
* When contemplating, large purchases, i.e., homes, cars, electronic systems. This is a salesman’s job to relax you with comforting words, to stroke your ego or to convince you to trust them and this is the greatest opportunity and if you don’t take it, you are missing out.
* When money is a factor. It never appears to amaze me how money can persuade people to say, do or act in a manner beyond their better judgment. People will give you $40 freely and then manipulate you out of $400. Others buy you an outfit, but before you know it, you are purchasing them a new wardrobe. You think they are supplying you with your needs, but they are ramping you up for their biggest needs down the road. When you realize it, you are receiving a lot less than you are giving, take heed to this unbalanced situation. There are always exceptions to the rule. But keep an eye on tipped scales. Example: A man, women or friend moves in with you, they promise to assist with the monthly bills. They give $200 a month. This may seem reasonable. However, weekly they eat $100 worth of food, uses electricity, excessively, they take long baths and showers. With the washing machine, they use a full load to wash a pair of socks, they turn the thermostat up way too high or way too low to serve their needs. Their $200 is long gone, and their expenses have become your expenses.
Take heed to the posers and conmen. Posers pretend to be someone who they are not. A Conman is someone who swindles people by gaining their confidence. These are the people who will use the T+T=T equation to their advantage. They will take all the time that is needed. They will say whatever they think you need to hear. Do whatever you need to be done. They will come across as the most trustworthy person you can imagine. When the opportunity is right for them, they will come in for the kill. And rob you emotionally, mentally, financially or maybe physically. Trust should be earned, not quickly given.
Confused when to trust? Who to trust? When the T equation appears to be falling short. My solution, you need a greater Authority on the matter of trust. And the greatest Authority I know is God. He will give you the wisdom and knowledge on who and when to trust. Trust in God and not your own thinking.
Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. Proverbs 3:5 (KJV)
Today, people put more trust in themselves and others. This constitutes why there is so much mistrust going around. This is why there are so many broken relationships, shattered emotions and financial ruins. Remember, putting trust in people than has not been proved or have not gone though the test of trust is dangerous.
God gives us His wisdom which is more powerful than man’s or the world’s wisdom. What will God’s wisdom grant you?
* Wisdom will grant insight and prudence when it comes to those certain men and woman, the types who spit out smooth words while rehearsing a fabricated story.
To deliver you from the way of evil and the evil men, from men who speak perverse things and are liars, Proverbs 2:12 (AMP)
To keep you from the evil woman, From [the flattery of] the smooth tongue of an immoral woman. Proverbs 6:24 (AMP)
God has surpassed the Time plus Trials equal Trust Theory. Remember the times when He assisted you through your tests and trials that equates to trusting Him.
Now remember the times you put your trust in a man or woman and when faced with difficult times how they let you down.
It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in princes. Psalm 118:9King James Version (KJV)
Thus saith the LORD; Cursed be the man that trusteth in man, and maketh flesh his arm, and whose heart departeth from the LORD. Jeremiah 17:5King James Version (KJV)