Once upon a time, dependents were characterized as children, the elderly or handicapped. Individuals who could be claimed on your income tax. People, who actually needed support. Ironically, with the electronic age and modern technology, many of the above are needing less support and desire to live as independently as possible.
However, there is a large population who has either lost their desire for independence or never achieved it. Their ability to accomplish goals on their merit is far from them. In the previous post, I highlighted how people achieve independence without giving God the credit or praise. I stand behind that. True autonomy is knowing nothing is achieved without God. Today, there is an equal amount of people who have slipped, fallen, or sunk in a ditch of dependence, not depending on themselves or God, but other people and other sources. I will refer to them as the Durable Dependent. Durable because they rely on others for long periods of time without giving in or giving up.
- Adult children living at home beyond a suitable or allotted time
- Women relying solely on men to support them without commitment
- Unestablished men moving and living off established women
- People seeking some type of governmental assistance
- Others are depended on all free support, gifts, food, etc. Those people will load up as many freebies as possible. Oftentimes, will return with alias to embark on more free giveaways
Why? It’s easier to take what is free than to earn what may cost.
Oftentimes, these dependents, are always looking for schemes to get something from nothing, excessively playing the lottery, searching for opportunities to sue someone, seeking reasons to apply for governmental aid, wanting to be fired from a job to apply for unemployment, or looking for people they can latch on to support them.
Some Durable Dependents may say or indicate what they want to achieve, but multiple reasons and excuses will choke their ambitions. Others are in the ditch of dependence thinking someone, the government or the world owes them something. This distorted sense of entitlement leads to laziness, procrastination, and envy. Someone or something has enabled these types of dependents allowing them to never needing or desiring to reach a level on their own, making them slothful, and always putting things off. Also, anytime someone reaches a goal or accomplishment a spirit of covetousness overcomes them.
You may not see yourself as a Durable Dependent. Ask yourself:
- Are you allowing your negative feelings of fear, hurt, worry or failure to keep you dependent on others?
- Why haven’t you moved on to bigger and better things?
- Are you envious of others, talk about them, but make no effort to accomplish more?
- Do you or have you allowed one obstacle or set back to hinder you from trying again?
- Do you find yourself making excuses why you cannot accomplish your goals?
- Do you feel the person or the object of your dependence owes you something because maybe their income or status is better than yours?
- Have others attempted to encourage you to do more and you became angry accusing them of not understanding you or your life?
- Do you constantly blame others for your misfortunes? Is it always someone else’s fault why you are in a ditch?
- When pressures occur do you push through or do you run? Run to your safe haven. A place where your dependency is allowed and encouraged?
There may be multiple circumstances why you landed in the ditch of dependence and became a Durable Dependent. Maybe you do not recognize or believe you are a DD. However, if you remotely see yourself as one; want to change; and accomplish more, recognize that you are in a ditch of dependence. Being a Durable Dependent is a problem, to overcome, the first step is admission.
- Go to God. With His assistance do some deep soul searching. Allow His Spirit to bring things to the surface, things you may have buried deep inside. Once they come to light, ask God how to overcome them.
- Pray for answers and direction. Be honest with God. He already knows all about your concerns and worries.
- Listen to the directions of God and do them. Sometimes there are definite directions, but excuses and emotions crop up and the clear instructions become blurred and dull.
- Trust God. Believe in Him. Depend on Him. You will have your part to play in arriving at your finished line. Don’t trust, believe, or depend solely on man, they will let you down.
- Fear is the biggest culprit that hinder hopes, dreams and aspirations. The fear of failure, being alone, not knowing what to do, or any other type fear that chokes you.
- Realize the world owes you nothing. But, you owe yourself and God to be all you can be.
Remember if there is anyone to depend on, it’s God. God will guide you in accomplishing goals, and overcoming obstacles that no government, family, friend, or mate could ever do. You will become independent in the world, but dependent on God, His Word, Wisdom and Ways.
And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the Lord. Psalm 40:3 (KJV)